Instances From Life - II

“It’s over, finally” I thought.

As I opened the door of my classroom, the first thing my eyes wandered in search for was her. My breathing went slower, so did my footsteps. For a moment I thought; at least this day, I’ll make it beautiful, a memory or a souvenir. But life’s not that sensible. Is it?

“What Laala? You’re out of stock these days. Where’ve you been?” Vicky asked with a South-Indian look.  

“Dude, how’re you going?” I said. I wasn’t interested in him. My heart said something else. It waited for something better; more caressing, more truthful.

“Bastard, have you brought the History project” Danish punched my back.

“Look who’s talking. As if there’s a possibility” I mocked and parked my bag on the bench.

I looked around. She was there, there on the last bench; where she always used to sit. Something was wrong. She was weeping. I wept harder in the heart.

“What’ve you told her, moron? Have you abused her? Or scolded her sister?” Danish mocked.

I pretended to avoid it; tried to pretend that I didn’t care. He laughed. She wept. And for me things went cold, so did the blood that was flowing in my veins.

“Get lost. Don’t include me in your Romeo Juliet thing.” I said irritatingly.

Just then the Physics teacher entered the class. I guess Shakespeare wasn’t wrong when he said that this world’s a stage. It actually is. One person comes into your life and another leaves. My life wasn’t so genius to prove Shakespeare wrong. It happened the same way. She ran out of the class; running, weeping and hiding her face at the same time. I felt so abandoned. It began to feel as if she had left me, forever.

“How does light get refracted in the atmosphere?” Physics Teacher said.

“Okay, listen. Different layers of atmosphere have different densities or we can also say; the higher we go the less dense the air is.” He kept speaking, answering his own question this time.

My heart wasn’t there. It was beating furiously in response to her absence. She hadn’t returned, is she still weeping; I thought, imagining her washing her face and wiping tears by the sides of her scarf in the washroom.

“Huh! What am I doing in this godforsaken place” I kept speaking to the air.

“Why was she weeping?” I added; this time asking Danish.

“Why are you so concerned?” Danish asked in a different tone that said ‘You-need-not-to-care’.

“Screw you Bastard” I said.

After 10 minutes she returned. She looked happy. What was that, I thought as I watched a fresh smile on her face. I didn’t care why she was smiling. The only fact that she was smiling felt very good in the core. She was happy. I was happy.

“So, as we’ve already studied. Wavelength varies with the colour variations.”

“Can you tell me which colour has the highest wavelength?” Physics teacher said. Pointing his finger towards Yasir, as if he were about to get him naked in front of us.

“Sorry sir” he proclaimed his innocence even before giving it a thought.

We all laughed and looked at him. It didn’t make a fun-sense but still, just because looking at him would mean a short-glance at Harsha; I did it. I looked back at him and found her looking at me. She was still smiling. Once again our eyes met. I was mesmerized by her look this time. My mind had already left my body and I could see my soul flying in the air.

I sighed in relief and contentment.

“Okay, let’s continue. Red colour has the highest wavelength” He continued.

I wasn’t there in the class. I was somewhere in a castle of mirrors; smiling in joy. And whichever direction I turned my eyes, wherever my sight went; I could only see myself smiling. Life was great. Light melodies murmured in the air.

“Man, I’m damn tired” Danish said.

“From past 90 minutes we’re continuously wasting our time on this God-damned ‘Light’” He added.

“What’re we up to?” He continued.

“Really man, I tell you, he’s been a militant or something before he got into teaching” I told him about my fantasies of him (Physics Teacher) being a militant.

“Yes, look at his eyes and his attitude” He replied with disgust.

Life deals with things differently. It is based on its own decisions, priorities and choice. I’ve always been feeling that; whatever I had wanted the most I didn’t get, and whatever I didn’t want; I got that. May be that’s the irony of life; to be yourself, in a challenge and race every time, while still following the commands of life.

He was right, Jim Morrison; when he said “Love cannot save you from your own fate”. Can it? My fate had a strict rule to follow; do the unpredictable and then just watch what I can do in response. Thus, it cannot break its own laws for my stupid heart. It challenged me and like always, I failed to do anything in response. I couldn’t even resist.

“So, why do stars twinkle?” Physics Teacher continued. It was as if he had sworn to teach everything in a single day.

“I hope we don’t have to appear in some talent hunt tomorrow” I asked Danish with utmost disgust and anger.

“No we don’t have to. Why are you asking?” He replied confusingly.

The door opened suddenly.

“Harsha” I heard a familiar voice calling her. I craned my neck to see who it was. It was Imran Sir, our sports teacher.

“Come here” He said.

“Papa aayein hain” She asked.

“Yes. Come along with the bag”. He said.

She held her bag on her left shoulder. I looked at her. I was almost frustrated. I couldn’t understand what’s going on. Where’s she going? Stop her; my heart whispered.

“Alvida. Alvida. Mere yaaro alvida” Yawer whispered slowly. Smiling and looking at me.

“Laala” he called me.

“Screw you. Get lost” I gave him a disgusting look.

Suddenly everything changed; from blooming to glooming, from ecstasy to remorse. I kept looking at her; continuously watching her every foot-step. For a moment I was completely frozen, for another moment I kept looking at her as she left and for another moment I felt totally forlorn and abandoned. I had that belief that at least she’d look at me a single time before leaving. She didn’t. May be it was too less a time for her to decide. May be she didn’t find it very important to look at me. But whatever, the only fact that this is the last time I’m seeing her; flooded me with sorrow and the feelings of defeat.

“Let’s continue. So, we’re talking about why stars twinkle” Physics Teacher continued.

I didn’t want to know, why the hell stars twinkle. My star had already left the sky.

“Useless. Everything seems so useless.” I spoke to my sorrowful heart.

I looked behind at the last bench where she used to sit. It seemed so deserted. I looked at the walls, ‘desolate’ I thought.

I was looking at my notebook, sometimes at the walls and sometimes at my hands. I remembered some lines I had once read somewhere:

“You won’t be able to overcome me, thus

Whenever you will hear my song,

You’ll find yourself singing along.”

I sighed. ‘Useless’ I again thought and blinked my strained eyes.

-         Syed Rehan